A Rambling Ode To Bread

I Get Around To It Eventually…

Behold my Ode to Bread, a testament to my love of bread, my worship of bread — but only the chewy kinds, the stuff requiring two incisors to gnaw off a bite and all your molars to grind, giving your jaws purpose again now that we no longer use them to rend dead animals as we did before the role of butcher was assigned to certain people, not just anyone hungry enough to take down a gazelle.

Not that I’m likely to go after a gazelle or any other mammal, as I’m not much of a meat eater, being “mostly vegetarian,” except I do eat fish, which I guess makes me a pescatarian. For sure, I never eat raw meat — that time at the Lebanese restaurant notwithstanding when I cheerily ate whatever “Try this!” was put before me because, of course, there had been a lot of “drink this!” wine served. I, being nothing if not a dedicated people pleaser, played blithely along until. UNTIL.

It pains me to even type this.

*takes a swig*

I discovered I’d just eaten raw monkey brains.

*spews said swig*

I still slap myself every time I recall that night, even though I didn’t kill that monkey nor would I harm any animal, not on purpose anyway, I can’t even recall an instance of road kill in all my decades of driving. unless I’ve blocked it out…